The Good, Bad, and Ugly of my 2023 (Ep. 12)

The Good, Bad, and Ugly of my 2023


As I sit down to reflect on the past year’s journeys and challenges, I am filled with a mix of emotions – gratitude for overcoming difficulties, awe at the transformative power of vulnerability, and a deep sense of resilience that has propelled me forward despite the obstacles faced. In this episode, I delve into the good, the bad, and the ugly, sharing personal struggles, transformative moments, and lessons learned.


  • Looking back on our journey from rocky times to a good place in our relationship
  • Changes that were impacting our dynamic and intimacy
  • Health challenges, affecting our BDSM relationship and daily life
  • My struggles with making friends in a new area and my decision to be vulnerable with a new friend who exhibited red flags
  • Reflecting on my experiences in 2023, including my health, relationship dynamics, and personal growth

Navigating Relationship Dynamics

From rocky beginnings to finding stability, my partner Jay and I have weathered transformative moments as we continue to evolve in our dynamic. We navigated the challenges of Jay’s frequent travels for work, which significantly altered our D/s relationship dynamic.

However, we remained committed to maintaining our connection, seeking support from a kink-friendly therapist, and devising strategies to uphold our dynamic despite the physical distance. It’s a testament to our dedication and love for each other that we have emerged from the storm stronger and more connected than ever.

Polyamory, D/s Dynamics, and Change

Exploring the intricacies of polyamory has been an integral part of our journey, although we took a temporary pause due to Jay’s extensive work commitments. Despite this, the evolution of our D/s relationship and the exploration of polyamory has been a transformative experience, strengthening our bond, and enriching our journey towards a deeper understanding of love, intimacy, and connection.

Health and Resilience

The battle with health complications has been an arduous one. My preventative hysterectomy, influenced by a family history of cancer, not only physically impacted me but also affected our D/s dynamic and intimacy. Enduring laparoscopic surgery with complications, a hospital stay, and grappling with trauma from previous experiences with cancer were profound challenges.

The strain of recovery and the financial burden created by medical bills seemed insurmountable despite having good insurance. However, through resilience and unwavering determination, I emerged relieved that the surgery rendered me cancer-free.

Uncertainty and Finding Strength in Vulnerability

Uncertainty surrounded me as I considered resuming dating, making new friends, and navigating life in a new area. Opening up to a new friend, I encountered unforeseen red flags, highlighting the complexities of vulnerability. The decision to be vulnerable is not devoid of risks, as evidenced by this experience.

It instilled in me a cautious discernment while cementing the importance of surrounding oneself with positive and supportive individuals. This experience, coupled with personal struggles, including frequent illnesses stemming from a weakened immune system due to past cancer treatments, has led me to cherish and prioritize authenticity and genuine connections.

Challenges and Transformative Choices

The complexities of my support for my autistic son and the impact of past relationships on our lives became evident when navigating the complexities of friendship and personal transformation.

A formerly close friend, intertwined in a web of toxic relationships and self-destructive behavior, suddenly ended our friendship with abrupt and callous indifference. My son’s emotional investment in her and the subsequent pain of cutting ties with her made me reconsider the impact of my choices and introspect on the complexities of relationships, trust, and rebuilding from hurt.

Embracing Change and New Beginnings

The journey through darkness illuminated a path of transformative healing and self-discovery. Deciding to abstain from alcohol and immerse myself in the vibrant world of BDSM and kink community events provided solace and a renewed sense of purpose.

The decision to remain alcohol-free not only sharpened my mental clarity but also realigned my physical and emotional well-being. Initiatives such as hosting a virtual summit for DomSub Dynamics in February and participating in enriching BDSM and kink community events have been invaluable in fostering personal and communal growth.

Looking Ahead

As I embark on this new year, energized by the transformative power of overcoming challenges, I am fervently looking forward to the possibilities and growth that await us in 2024.

I am committed to sharing more about making long-distance D/s relationships flourish and delving deeper into my health challenges in future episodes. The journey ahead is one filled with exciting opportunities, communal growth, and transformative experiences.

I extend a warm invitation to join me, connect with the Dom Sub Living community, and subscribe to the podcast. Let’s embark on this transformative journey together, embracing vulnerability, resilience, and growth!

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