Many people who are curious about kink want to know the quickest way to get started and learn BDSM. When you’re just a BDSM beginner, it can be really frustrating to try and figure out what a Dominant or submissive is all about. If you don’t get started the right way, you’re going to waste a lot of time and effort as you try to create a Dom/sub lifestyle. But dominance and submission are just one aspect of BDSM. What’s the best way to quickly start putting it all into practice? This guide about BDSM for starters covers everything you need to know. Enjoy!
*If you want to help your partner be more dominant, submissive, or kinky, be sure to check out my new workshop.*
BDSM is an acronym for bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M)
Here are details about what each part of the acronym stands for if you are learning BDSM.
B- Bondage
Bondage is one of the fundamental aspects of a Dominant/submissive relationship. To some, it may seem like just a kinky “fetish”, but real sexual gratification comes from bondage. The pleasure is derived from rendering the restrained person vulnerable to a variety of acts including sexual ones.
Read more: 8 Ways to Enjoy Bondage
D- Discipline
A lot of Dominant/submissive relationships have discipline and punishments. After all, no sub is perfect. Correction can be needed from time to time when they break the rules. Doms need to know how to punish effectively though, because subs can feel neglected when it isn’t done in the proper way.
Read more: How to Punish a Sub Effectively
D- Dominance (Dom)
In the BDSM world, “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot. Being a Dom can seem very appealing. Most are men who want to be more dominant in bed, but also in their relationships, and even in life in general. But unfortunately, there are a lot of fake doms out there who are not worthy of submission. Therefore, make sure you know what it truly means to be a real Dom.
Read more: The Ultimate Guide to Being a Dominant
S- Submission (Sub)
Serving a Dominant is a very fulfilling lifestyle. However, many submissive beginners are lost. They don’t know what the role entails. Many times they are just looking for someone to fix them, to make them feel more complete. In all honesty though, being a sub is a lot of work, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. Make sure you know what it truly means to be a good sub.
Read more: The Ultimate Guide to Being a Submissive
S- Sadism
Sadism involves getting pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, or humiliation on someone else. When practicing sadism, always keep and respect the three principles of SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual). This is what separates BDSM from criminal abuse or neurotic, psychopathic behavior. Have fun, but make sure to always play responsibly.
Read more: The Ultimate Guide to a Safe BDSM Lifestyle
M- Masochism
Even if you enjoy receiving pain or being humiliated, it has to be done with a sound mind. One of the best ways to make sure you’re not just engaging in self-destructive behavior is to set limits. Even if you don’t have a BDSM partner yet, it’s good to have your boundaries clear in mind so you’ll be prepared when you’re ready to start playing.
Read more: BDSM Limits: Learn What’s Hard and Soft
Now that we’ve gone over everything the BDSM acronym stands for, you may now be wondering, How do I get started in the lifestyle?
Check out: How to Go from Vanilla to BDSM and kink
If you’re totally ready to start playing now, but you don’t have a partner yet, no problem!
Check out: Exactly What to Do When You Don’t Have a Partner
Lastly, if you’re a beginner to BDSM and want to really become a satisfied full-time Dom or sub, make sure you subscribe to my FREE newsletter to get access to exclusive content I don’t share here on the blog. Click here to sign up for the free newsletter
Get Started In BDSM
Being a BDSM beginner is an exciting time on your kink journey. Remember, you shouldn’t compare where you are and where someone else is in practicing the lifestyle. Be proud of yourself for being a beginner and continue to use this beginner’s guide to BDSM and educate yourself as much as you can. In time, you’ll be an experienced Dom or sub, and will be able to help other beginners on their journey as well.🖤
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