8 BDSM Bondage Ideas & Tips for Beginners
Bondage is one of the fundamental aspects of BDSM. It may seem like just a sex kink, but it’s more than rope ties, tying someone up, or being tied. Real physical and emotional gratification comes from bondage. How can you get started and enjoy it safely, even if you’re a beginner? Here are 8 beginner-friendly BDSM bondage ideas to inspire you, and be sure to read the BDSM safety tips first!
1. Cable Zip Ties
Zip ties are plastic-like nylon restraints that hold together cables or wires and usually come in clear or black. Zip ties are one of my favorite bondage ideas during play sessions because they are incredibly strong, and the material can cut into my skin when I struggle, leaving nice marks.
Also, they’re easy to use. Simply put them around the wrists like handcuffs, thread the tail through the loop, and they’re locked. The ties come in different sizes, so buy the longer ones. If necessary, they are easy to get out of quickly because you just cut them to release them.
The only downside is that they are not reusable, but you can buy a lot of zip ties for cheap, so they’re great for a beginner to try.
2. Suit Ties
This is one of the sexier bondage ideas for beginners, vanilla couples, or those moving from vanilla to BDSM in a relationship because a man’s tie, made of silk or satin, is the perfect size and length to get started with bondage.
There are many ways to use one. It can tie the hands behind the back of the body or in the front. Once the wrists are tied, the Dom could tie the end to a bed frame or furniture. It can also be secured around the sub’s neck like a traditional tie and used as a leash to lead them around.
It’s versatile enough to be used as a blindfold or even a beginner gag. The possibilities are endless.
3. Spreader Bar
Another fun and easy bondage idea to try is using a piece of BDSM equipment called a spreader bar, which is used to keep the limbs apart. It is usually attached to the ankles, and the bar’s length is increased to open the legs wider.
Some spreader bars also have cuffs for the wrists, so the hands are attached right next to the feet. This gives the Dom easy access to the sub whatever they wish. If the spreader bar has a key, make sure beforehand that it works properly and it is within reach at all times.
Things like this can be overlooked, so it’s the Dom’s responsibility to know safety tips like these beforehand to understand how to be dominant correctly. Also, it’s especially crucial to emphasize subs use their safewords when bound or restrained if the scene gets too intense and they can’t physically signal the Dom to ease up or stop.
4. Handcuffs or Wrist Restraints
Handcuffs or wrist restraints can be thrilling to use because they play into the whole “bad cop” fantasy. Metal ones can be nice because they can press into the skin and give a masochistic sub more pleasure, but they can also be dangerous. To avoid nerve damage, make sure you can fit two fingers under the cuffs. If you’re going to be engaging in any kind of struggle play. I would recommend faux leather restraints instead.
Keep in mind that just as a Dom should understand how to be dominant the right way, a sub should understand how to be submissive the right way to avoid an unhealthy, unsafe BDSM relationship.
As with all of the previous bondage ideas, there are many hand placement options. They can even be hooked through something overhead, like a clothes rod, while the sub is standing. Again, just be careful not to make them too tight because they could do some real damage. And make sure the key works and is accessible. No one likes to make an embarrassing call to a locksmith.
5. Rope Bondage Tips for Beginners
Rope is probably one of the best–known tools and beginner bondage tips and doesn’t require a trip to a sex store. A rope can be used to tie a sub in lots of different positions. “Hogtie,” where the hands are tied to the feet behind the back, makes the sub extremely vulnerable.
The best beginner rope is subjective, but I prefer smooth, usually nylon, so it doesn’t chafe the skin. If you like it to feel rough, I recommend a natural fiber like Manila hemp. In our bedroom, we have ropes tied to the four corners of our bed at all times. My Dom will use more rope or cable ties to attach me to the corners in various positions.
When we are done playing, the rope can be tucked back under the bed, out of sight, and ready for the next play session. People who enjoy being tied up in BDSM are usually called “Rope Bunnies.”
6. Shibari/Kinbaku Bondage
Shibari and Kinbaku are two terms to describe a type of Japanese bondage. Although the words are sometimes used interchangeably, they are two different things. Shibari usually refers to general, artistic rope tying, while Kinbaku is a more sexual form of it.
Today you can see rope Masters performing intricate bondage styles at different shows and events. The art is more the ritualistic way it is done than in the finished project. There are also many designs and techniques, like the crotch rope tie, Strappado bondage (where the hands are tied behind and pulled up), and suspension bondage.
See a picture of me enjoying Shibari here.
7. BDSM Collar With “O” Ring
My play collar has a big “O” ring on the front of it that can be used for many things. A Dom could use zip ties, a suit tie, or ropes to secure the sub’s hands to the collar. A traditional leash or chain can also be hooked onto it to restrain the sub.
Some collars have “O” rings in multiple places so the sub can be bound from the back of the neck too. Look for a well–made collar that is comfortable but strong enough to take a lot of pulling. Check out some ideas for collars here.
8. Tips for When Restraints Become Undone
Sometimes, despite a Dom’s best tying skills, a restraint may come undone. It’s going to happen. There’s no need to be embarrassed, frustrated, or end a play session. If a sub notices that a rope is coming loose, they can playfully say, “Master, I think my restraints need to be tighter.”
Or if a Dom sees that a sub is getting loose, even in a rape play scene, they can stay in character and quickly retie them. The point is to just fix it without making a big deal of it and to continue to enjoy yourself.
Hopefully, I made your next trip to your local hardware store more interesting. We just scratched the surface of BDSM bondage ideas, but these eight ideas and tips should get your creative juices flowing. Have fun!
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Keep reading: Using Safewords »
