What to Know About Wax Play: Common Misconceptions and Best Practices
TL;DR: Wax play is a sensual BDSM practice involving warm candle wax dripped on the skin for safe, controlled stimulation. This guide debunks myths, explains safety tips, and offers step-by-step instructions. With the right tools and consent, wax play can deepen intimacy, anticipation, and pleasure between partners exploring power exchange dynamics.
BDSM has the power to uncover desires in us that we may have never known were there to begin with. Whether it’s humiliation, edging, or pain, there is a real spectrum of delight to be discovered.
But pain, to home in on just one facet of kink play, can mean a lot of things. And it can be administered in a lot of ways. One such way you may be considering is what’s known as wax play.
In this guide, we’ll dispel the myths and cover the fundamentals of the wax play kink. We’ll also offer some safe practices so that you and your partner can play safely.
What is Wax Play and Why is it a Turn On?
Imagine you want to deliver a bit of pain to your sub. Or imagine you want to introduce just the threat of pain. Wax offers a great vehicle for just that.
Wax play is conducted between partners in which a Dom uses the heat of candle wax as the vehicle for their pain delivery. As the candle burns, it produces hot, dripping wax that is perfect for a bit of kinky fun when dripped onto the sub.
Obviously, kink is all about tapping into a deeper part of your desires. And while some of us crave deep, lasting pain, others want just a taste of it. It’s all about the endorphin rush we seem to love.
Playing with wax offers a touch, albeit momentary, pain delivered in microdoses. It is as much about anticipation as it is release. And honestly, what could be more of a turn-on than getting just the littlest bit of the very thing you’re craving?
Wax Play: Myths and Misconceptions
Wax play is a game of power dynamics. The sub is essentially giving themselves over to their Dom to deliver pain that is intense but safe. So, it stands to reason that while wax play feels dangerous, it shouldn’t actually put anyone in danger.
Wax is never used to actually burn your partner’s body parts. It instead delivers intense but safe heat in small, inconspicuous spots on their skin.
Playing with wax also doesn’t involve the flame. You’re not burning your partner. Instead, the flame is there simply to keep the wax melting so you can use it as you like.
It’s also worth noting that you shouldn’t just use any old candle you have lying around for candle play. Why? Because certain candle materials burn and melt at different temperatures than others. And the hotter the wax, the more likely you are to scald your skin.
Look for candles made from skin-safe materials such as:
- Paraffin
- Soy
- Shea Butter
Seriously, we can’t stress this enough: don’t use that beeswax or scented candle you usually use in your home. It will only end in the wrong kind of pain!
Lastly, while modern slang might use “waxing” or “on wax” as a euphemism for having sex, don’t get confused. It doesn’t specifically mean having wax play sex.
How to Do Wax Play
Start your session as you do any responsible BDSM session by reviewing your BDSM contract with your partner. It should include details about what kinds of pain are on and off the table for play, specific to heat and burns. You should also be clear about which areas of the body may and may not be touched with the wax.
Next, prep your room with plastic or another protective but comfortable layer you can place atop your furniture. The last thing you want is to have to clean up a bunch of wax stains later. It’s also advisable to keep a fire extinguisher or bucket of water nearby, just in case. You are literally playing with fire, after all!
Now, assume your Dominant or submissive roles accordingly and let the play begin! When pain is warranted, a light dribble of candle wax onto naked skin is all it takes.
Remember, like with any pain delivery, the wax should be used intentionally and sparingly. You’re not trying to establish a pain and release cadence; not inflict irreparable damage on your partner.
After your session is complete, be sure to check in with your partner. Because wax play requires a bit of extra cleanup, you will naturally have some extra time together after finishing. So, use that time wisely and you’ll find that your connection can grow even deeper.
Discover New Realms of Pleasure
If you are considering incorporating wax candle play into your bedroom, it helps to have guidance. Dom Sub Living has the resources you need to become a better sub, a stronger Dom, and a safer BDSM kinkster.
Our guides, classes, and private mentoring are yours to help guide you. They touch on everything from the wax play kink to being a better Dom or sub. With the right insights from Dom Sub Living, we’re sure you can become a better kinky lover.
Ready to turn up the heat—safely? Bring your kinky confidence to life!
