5 Tips for an Ownership Kink in Practice
There’s a certain thrill to ceding your power to someone you trust, isn’t there? Or perhaps you’re more into the empowered side of a power dynamic? Either way, for those with an ownership kink, dominance in the bedroom can lead to immense, unheard-of pleasure.
But like anything BDSM-adjacent, there are some ground rules and best practices to ensure everyone feels both safe and valued.
In this guide, we’ll cover five of the most common areas you should be mindful of when playing with ownership. With these ownership kink insights, you’re sure to level up your power play.
1. Ensuring Consent
Let’s be clear here: while many owner BDSM encounters use terms like “master” and “slave,” power dynamics in the bedroom are not slavery. Both parties need to be into the dynamic of owner kink for things to work. And that means that both of you, before a single order has been made, need to consent to what you’re about to get into.
Pressure, coercion, gaslighting, and more have no place here. So have an honest, (figuratively) naked conversation about the dynamic you’re hoping for. If you’re both good to move forward with your power play sexual encounter, then that is a natural step toward bullet number two:
2. Setting Boundaries
Like any BDSM relationship, it’s important to maintain a contract. A BDSM contract is essentially your chance to establish what is and isn’t okay while at play. It should cover nearly every aspect of the experience. And it should be clear about what occurs when the two of you are not at play.
Remember: once play starts, the sub will really only have their dom and this contract to rely on. There’s a level of trust that’s needed. So be thorough, be honest, and be mindful about what you both are and are not okay with.
3. Defining Role Playing Roles
We’re not here to kink shame role reversal. Nor are we here to say switching will lead to problems down the road. But when it comes to ownership, random code switching can be a bit trickier.
But this is where the contract and boundaries we talked about earlier come in. If you each want to maintain a set role (one as the dominant and one as the submissive), put that clearly in the contract. Conversely, if you each want to play with roles by switching, noting how and when in the contract is important.
Like any ownership BDSM encounter, knowing how to act and why is everything. It lessens the unnerving unknown and allows you to give yourselves over to pleasure.
4. Establishing Open Communication
While at play, it’s key to give yourself over to your role. If you’re owned, follow your master’s every word. If you’re the dom, dishing out gratification for your sub at your whim can be an immense treat. But remember, these roles don’t mean you should lose yourself entirely in the process.
Simple tricks such as safe words and paused play are important to ensure things don’t go too far. Similarly, it’s critical not to let your play sessions bleed into off-the-clock time, so to speak. After all, you don’t want your ownership BDSM roles to interfere with your public life.
5. Taking Time for Aftercare
Remember, power play and sexual encounters are highly charged experiences. Since the owner kink deals in some pretty heavy themes, take a beat. It’s important to spend time as a couple after play has concluded to check in with your partner. This could be an informal chat or a more formal post-mortem on the experience.
Either way, a healthy and honest aftercare session will ensure you both got what you needed from the experience. If it was good all around, then you know you have clearance for another encounter later. But if either of you had issues, aftercare allows you both to identify them. This way, you will be less likely of falling into a particular trap during your next encounter.
Dom Sub Living Can Promote a Better Sex Life and More Fulfilling Power Encounters
Just as you contain multitudes, fun with owner BDSM is an ever-evolving thing. What worked yesterday may fall flat tomorrow. This is why we launched Dom Sub Living. When you are able to keep things smart in the bedroom, you’re equipped to be a better lover and partner.
If you wish to level up your bedroom power dynamic experiences, we have the resources you need. Explore our helpful courses, podcasts, and more. Our community of power play kink enthusiasts have found like-mindedness and support here at Dom Sub Living.
Help your partner be more kinky!
