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If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that Dom Sub Living covers all things power exchange, BDSM, and kink lifestyle. But today, I want to get personal and share a different kind of topic—a year in review, filled with the good, the bad, and the very ugly.
Why am I sharing all this? Because what I experienced in 2025 is likely something you’ve gone through, too. I hope that by sharing my story, I can help you feel seen in yours. This year didn’t just challenge me,it changed me. So let’s dive deep into the real, raw lessons I learned this year.
IN THIS EPISODE
- Why 2025 was my hardest year—and how I found surprising strength through struggle.
- The biggest challenges of maintaining a Dom/sub dynamic during long-distance, and how creative rituals kept the connection alive.
- The real-life “ugly” truths about drama and consent violations in the kink community, and why calling out toxic behavior matters.
- How political and social unrest impacted my family, and what it means to live authentically kinky in tough times.
- Exciting updates for the Dom Sub Living community in 2026: upcoming events, supportive resources, and ways to connect with me for coaching and advice.
The Good: Growth, Community, and Reconnection
Moving for Love and Lifestyle
A big positive from 2025 was finally settling into life in Los Angeles. If you’ve ever had to uproot your family and move to a new city, you know how stressful—and exciting—it can be. For us, this move wasn’t just about the sunshine. It was a conscious choice for our kink dynamic. My Dom (who’s also my husband) and I have practiced 24/7 power exchange for years, so being in an area with more kink events and a vibrant community made a huge difference. LA feels like a fresh start every day, and I don’t regret it for a second.
Overcoming Long Distance in a Kink Relationship
However, the transition wasn’t perfect. My Dom’s union job meant he had to commute back to the Bay Area weekly, from Sunday night through late Thursday or even Friday mornings. The separation tested our dynamic like nothing before.
As a little girl with a Daddy Dom, I felt lost without my daily rituals and routines with him. But out of necessity, we became experts in long-distance D/s. We FaceTimed, invented digital rituals, and found ways to keep our connection alive (sometimes desperate, sometimes clumsy, always honest).
The best thing? By year’s end, our perseverance paid off. We found a way for my Dom to transfer his job, benefits, and retirement back to LA—even getting a raise. I’m grateful every single day that we’re back under one roof, in our D/s bubble where we thrive.
Building Stronger Kink Community Bonds
Another bright spot was watching my friend, Justine Cross, take a leap and open her new dungeon, Stella Obscura. Being at her soft opening (and yes, she made plenty of kinky jokes about that) reminded me how important it is to find your people and lift each other up. If you’re in LA, mark this spot on your kinky to-do list, you won’t regret it.
On a more personal note, my kids are healthy and in great relationships, and my youngest will graduate high school soon. Sometimes, it’s the little wins, happy family, a quick visit to my mom, moments of normalcy, that have felt the biggest. But the kids being older also means MORE time I can spend in the in-person kink community!
The Bad: Disasters, Distance, and Social Storms
Facing Natural Disasters in a New City
2025 wasn’t all sunshine. The year began with LA’s Palisades and Eaton fires. Although my family was safe, the air quality was so poor, I struggled with my asthma and heart issues. It was scary checking fire maps daily, something that never crossed my mind back in the Bay Area. There’s always a new kind of emergency to adapt to, and this one tested us physically and emotionally.
The Shadow of Political Tension
The hardest part of this year was the tense political and social climate. Seeing the military in the streets, hearing about people being abducted, and watching protests turn dangerous, all of it made it hard for me to focus on my normal work in kink education. As a mom of a gay son (and another son with a Central American partner), the rise in anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-immigrant rhetoric hit our family personally. It’s heartbreaking to be in a place where just being yourself feels like a political act.
Kink Is Political—Like It or Not
When I post online about these issues, negativity pours in. But let me be clear: kink has always been political. Living as a Dominant or submissive, queer, open-minded, or unconventional person means you are resisting the norm by existing. Kink isn’t conservative—it’s about challenging tradition and embracing your truest self. The regressive atmosphere in the country made my work as a kink educator even tougher, but also more vital than ever.
The Ugly: Calling Out Abuse in the Kink Community
Addressing Consent Violations and Predators
Now for the ugly, the part nobody wants to talk about, but we absolutely must. This year, a disturbing pattern re-emerged in the kink world: consent violations and abusive behavior by so-called educators.
Several years ago, a friend and former collaborator, Ms. Nighteyes, bravely shared allegations against her ex-partner, an educator known as “The Funny Dom.” With documentation and the support of countless others, the community initially took notice. But within a few years, people forgot. He was invited onto podcasts and welcomed back into spaces he should never have returned to.
What’s worse? When I brought these concerns to other creators and companies, some dismissed them or even asked for direct access to the victims before they’d take action. This survivor-blaming culture makes it almost impossible for anyone to feel safe coming forward.
Making My Own List: Taking a Stand for Safety
I’m done waiting for justice or “the system” to catch up. This year, inspired by victims in the news who made their own lists, I started keeping my own. If someone is an alleged predator—if I have direct experiences or trusted reports—they go on my list. I don’t work with them. Full stop.
If you’re collaborating in the kink world, I urge you to do the same. Protect yourself by making informed decisions, and let’s change how our community handles abuse from the inside out.
Looking Forward: Hope, Healing, and More Kink
Big Plans for the Coming Year
Despite everything, I’m not defeated. In fact, I’m more motivated than ever to provide education, support, and community for kinky folks. For 2026, the Dom Sub Dynamic Summit, BDSM Jumpstart Bootcamp, and the Kink Bundle are all coming back. My book is in progress, and now that my Dom is home, we have more capacity for events and connection than ever before.
Join Me on This Journey
Thank you for embracing both the polished and the messy sides of my journey. Whether you want one-on-one coaching, access to our All-Access Pass, or just some free resources, I’m here for you.
Let’s continue building a safer, more honest kink community—one that faces the good, the bad, and the ugly together, and always keeps striving for pleasure, power, and healing.
Links From the Episode:
- Join our email list for kinky resources + updates
- Stella Obscura dungeon
- Funny Dom allegations
- The Dom/sub Dynamics virtual summit
- The Dom Sub Living All-Access Pass
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