Many in the BDSM community are responding to the current crisis in one of two ways. They either push themselves to try to keep things under control, or they retreat into worry. In either case, self-care gets neglected, and Dom and sub drop can occur. Yet this is exactly when you need self-care activities the most. To combat the strain of this global event, here’s 10 stress relief tips you can do at home.
1. Exercise for self-care
Exercise, especially when it’s outdoors, refreshes the mind. It also boosts endorphins and enhances your mood. Some ideas for activities include:
- Going for a walk or run
- Doing bodyweight exercises at home
Try to get at least 30 minutes a day of physical movement, which will also help boost your stamina during BDSM scenes.
2. Listen to music
Listening to soothing music is one of my favorite self-care actives because it’s so quick and simple. Here are three of my favorite songs for not only stress relief, but to also help keep me in the submissive mindset:
- “Love the Way You Lie” by Rihanna
- “My Immortal” by Evanescence
- “Earned It” by The Weeknd
3. Write in a Journal
If you’ve been following me for a while now, then you know I’m a huge proponent of journaling. For both Doms and subs, journaling is a way to release negative thoughts and emotions so they deminish. Be sure to also write down what you’re grateful for too.
I journal twice a day: morning and evening. A journal is perfect for an aftercare kit too, so sub drop can be lessened or prevented. Click here for free journal prompts.
4. Take a relaxing bath or shower
A lot of times as Doms or subs, we take this daily task for granted. It’s really a perfect opportunity for self-care though. The warm water has been proven to elevate your mood, and the time to yourself can allow you to focus your attention inward.
Baths and showers are also great for aftercare when you’re done enjoying a scene, and works as a great prevention for sub drop. Add your favorite sexy toy for even more fun!
5. Keep your daily BDSM rituals and activities
During times of stress, rely on your daily rituals. Don’t neglect your routines and rules. You need these activitie in order to lead if you’re the Dominant, or to help you obey if you’re the submissive.
It’s good to have different rituals throughout your whole day, so it will help you stick to a schedule. Here are some ideas:
- Meditate/kneel in the morning
- Make/serve coffee or tea
- Journal and read
- Text your partner at set times
- Exercise in the afternoon
- Meditate/kneel in the evening
Doms can find more ideas and tips for tasks and rituals here.
Meditation has so many benefits for both Doms and subs. Doms benefit by becoming more calm, focused, and less stressed. And by meditating, subs can become less anxious, more relaxed, and handle sub drop more easily. For these reasons my Dom has me meditate twice a day.
An easy meditation for stress relief: Sit in a quiet place, set a timer for 10 minutes, close your eyes, calm your mind, and focus on each breath.
7. Practice or learn bondage
You don’t need a partner to enjoy bondage! You can practice on yourself or on an object like a pillow or chair. The best rope is smooth, usually nylon so it doesn’t chafe the skin. If you like it to feel rough then I recommend a natural fiber like manila hemp.
Rope work is great for self-care because you’re working with your hands and you have to be meticulous and focused. And it can release endorphins for those that have a rope kink.
8. Take a screen break
We all know that excessive time on our screens causes stress. The news especially can be very toxic. My Dom actually has the rule that I’m not allowed to read the news. So make sure to take time to unplug every day. It’s also a good idea to take a break from your devices an hour before bed.
9. Talk to a friend or partner
Communication and human connection is so vital during times of stress. Taking the time to talk to a friend or partner, even virtually, can ease anxiety, especially sub drop. Share your thoughts and what you’re going through, and take the time to listen too.
Even if you’re in a long-distance relationship there are so many ways to keep your bond strong. Steal my favorite tips here.
10. Read material for Doms and subs
Reading is great way to unwind. Reading fictional BDSM stories can also spark your kinky imagination. And reading non-fiction articles is an easy way to learn more about the lifestyle.
I have dozens of articles on my blog that you can enjoy. You can also use the search field at the top of this site to find something specific.
Remember this: Self-care promotes a sense of control when things seem out of control. These 10 activities and tips can help you to be the best Dom or sub you can be right now. Take care of yourself. 🖤
My favorite way to keep my submissive mindset is to read BDSM stories. Works everytime.
Dom Sub Living says
That’s an awesome tip, Carissimi! Thank you for sharing. ????
My favorite way to unwind is quiet time with BDSM artwork and imagery. The brain and body are stimulated, and my sub almost always benefits at play time – through new journeys and ideas fostered by the visual arts. I’m currently spending time with the art of rope work. Thanks for all you do.
Memorize and rehearse my Dom’s song for me. I hear it in my head as we play through our scenes. I find myself singing it throughout the day.
I just recently started a bdsm relationship my boyfriend is my master we are both new at this but we both enjoy it very much were not sure on exactly how we both should be not only in the bedroom but out of the bedroom and in public we are open to any and all suggestions thank you so much for your time
The thing I have been doing lately for self care is the practices through Layla Martin’s Content. To help reconnect with myself and heal. And reconnect with myself sexually on a deeper level to heal past trauma and releasing it from my nervsystem.