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Parenting is a demanding role that requires consistency, love, and a lot of patience. Embracing a BDSM lifestyle, on the other hand, introduces a different set of dynamics that involve trust, boundaries, and profound communication. I am diving into how my partner and I balance these dual roles with the utmost care and respect for our children and each other.
IN THIS EPISODE
- Separating parental responsibilities and BDSM activities.
- Discovering the strategies used to maintain privacy.
- Understanding the importance of teamwork with your partner when disciplining kids and setting household rules.
- Discussing the importance of educating kids about consent and respect.
- Providing tips on maintaining a Dom/sub relationship while being attentive and loving parents.
Segregating Parental and Kinky Roles
One of the key components of our balanced life is the clear separation between our parental duties and our BDSM activities. This segregation helps maintain a sense of normalcy and safety for our children. Dinner time, homework sessions, and bedtime are all sacred and strictly family-oriented. These specific times are non-negotiable when it comes to boundary setting.
Creating designated “family times” and “adult times” ensures that both roles can be fulfilled without one encroaching on the other. This definitive line helps in managing our responsibilities effectively and ensures our children’s sense of security and routine.
Maintaining Privacy
Privacy is extremely important when navigating a household with children. Our bedroom is a sanctuary for our intimate activities, and we go to great lengths to maintain that privacy. We enforce rules such as no toys or photos of our children in the bedroom. These boundaries help differentiate the space as strictly for adult use.
To ensure our privacy, we use locks on the doors and have instilled the habit in our children to knock before entering any closed door. This not only respects our privacy but also teaches our children about personal boundaries and courtesy.
Presenting a United Front
Children often try to play one parent against the other, a tactic often referred to as “divide and conquer.” My partner and I put a lot of effort into presenting a united front when it comes to disciplining and setting rules for our children. This unified approach is critical for consistency in parenting.
Our strength as a team doesn’t just stop at parenting; it’s integral to our Dom/sub dynamic as well. Open communication between us is crucial for both roles to function seamlessly and harmoniously.
Educating Children about Consent and Respect
Talking to children about consent and respect is an essential part of their upbringing. We emphasize these values in our household by discussing them openly and age-appropriately. It’s essential for kids to understand the mechanics of healthy relationships and the significance of mutual respect.
We’ve proactively integrated these discussions into our lives to demystify and normalize conversations around boundaries and consent. That way we can prepare our children for future relationships and interactions.
Fostering Positivity and Affection
Modeling a loving and affectionate relationship is critical for children’s emotional well-being. We ensure that our children see us expressing affection towards each other regularly. This normalizes love, tenderness, and positive interactions for them, embedding these characteristics into their understanding of relationships.
We are also openly affectionate with our children and handle their questions with warmth and honesty. This approach builds an environment of trust and openness, allowing our children to feel secure and valued.
Role Modeling a Happy and Consenting Relationship
Demonstrating a happy and consenting BDSM dynamic is crucial to our household. It shows our children that different relationship dynamics can be healthy and fulfilling if based on mutual respect and consent. Our children understand that our decisions are made for our mutual well-being and happiness.
Balancing Parenting and a Dom/sub Relationship
Balancing these roles requires meticulous planning and ongoing communication. It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of neglecting your relationship with your partner due to the demands of parenting. However, prioritizing regular check-ins and maintaining your relationship’s quality ensures both roles are given their due importance.
Practical Tips for Noise Management and Scheduling
Noise management is an essential aspect when practicing a BDSM lifestyle with children around. Simple hacks like soundproofing the room, using pillows and blankets, and opting for quieter activities like rope bondage can make a significant difference.
We also schedule our activities for when the children are asleep or away at their grandparent’s’ or friends’ houses. Being strategic about timing helps us maintain our lifestyle without interference.
Open Communication about Sex
Open communication about sex with children is critical. It’s important to answer their questions in an age-appropriate manner without shaming or dismissing their curiosity. Keeping responses brief, clear, and appropriate for their age helps foster a healthy understanding of sex and relationships.
Handling Unexpected Interruptions
Scenarios where children may walk in on intimate moments require calmness and sensitivity. Remaining composed, having an open conversation, and gauging the child’s understanding before providing information are all key steps. This method avoids unnecessary trauma and helps maintain a child’s emotional security.
Navigating Lifestyle Activities Around Children
Managing BDSM activities in a house with children can be tricky. Scheduling activities when children are away, doing them while they’re asleep or occupied, using noise-canceling headphones, and finding quick opportunities are practical solutions.
As children grow older and often seek more independence, finding secluded places for activities also becomes more feasible.
Prioritizing a Healthy Family Dynamic
A healthy, well-rounded family dynamic is an intricate balance of fulfilling everyone’s needs. Educating oneself on age-appropriate discussions and prioritizing children’s emotional security are of the utmost importance. It’s equally important not to neglect one’s relationship and to continue to foster a strong foundational connection with your partner.
Maintaining Discreet Communication in BDSM with Kids
When engaging in BDSM dynamics around children, discreet tasks, rewards, and communication methods like verbal affirmations and hand gestures play a crucial role. These help maintain the dynamics without exposing the children to inappropriate details.
Finding the Balance
Balancing dual roles as parents and participants in a BDSM lifestyle is challenging but rewarding. By setting clear boundaries, fostering open communication, and maintaining a strong partnership, we create a nurturing and respectful environment for our children and ourselves.
As always, practical tips and personal insights pave the way for smoother navigation through these roles. If you have insights to share or want to further understand your kink personality, don’t forget to take our free quiz below!
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