What does “Topping from the Bottom” really mean? Ever since the book 50 Shades of Grey made the expression popular, the meaning and actual definition have become cloudy. In BDSM, the definition of “Topping from the Bottom” (or TFTB) is when a submissive starts to become more of the dominant in the relationship. I’m going […]
Definition
How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink
One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]
Everything You Need to Know About Being a Switch
When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl). The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and switching from Dom or sub can […]
5 Things You Need to Know About Consensual Non-Consent
One of the most debated but rarely explained topics in the BDSM community is consensual non-consent, or CNC. The real definition of this type of D/s relationship is one of deep trust, not abuse. And even though the sex fantasy of rape play is pretty common, this kink is still a taboo topic. What is […]
10 Ways to Have Better Aftercare
During a BDSM scene or other kink activities, the Dominant and submissive can experience a huge endorphin rush. It can be a shock when it is all over, for Doms and for subs. A proper checklist helps prevent this. It’s a way for those in a D/s (Dom/sub) relationship to calm back down. If your […]
6 Things You Need to Know About Safewords
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, the meaning of “safewords” has become more popular. But many people, even in the BDSM community, still don’t know how to use them the right way. The definition of a safeword is a code to communicate when a submissive is at their limit, or close to it. I’ll show you some […]
