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Definition

Topping from the Bottom: 3 Examples to Avoid

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What does “Topping from the Bottom” really mean? Ever since the book 50 Shades of Grey made the expression popular, the meaning and actual definition have become cloudy. In BDSM, the definition of “Topping from the Bottom” (or TFTB) is when a submissive starts to become more of the dominant in the relationship.  I’m going […]

Tagged With: Definition, Examples, Fifty Shades of Grey, Phrases, Submissive, Topping from the Bottom

How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink

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One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Definition, Kink, Sex, Switch, Vanilla

Everything You Need to Know About Being a Switch

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When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl).  The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and switching from Dom or sub can […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Definition, Dominant, Kink, Relationships, Submissive, Switch, Vanilla

5 Things You Need to Know About Consensual Non-Consent

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One of the most debated but rarely explained topics in the BDSM community is consensual non-consent, or CNC.  The real definition of this type of D/s relationship is one of deep trust, not abuse.  And even though the sex fantasy of rape play is pretty common, this kink is still a taboo topic.  What is […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Consensual Non-Consent, Contract, Definition, Examples, Ideas, Kink, Relationships, Sex

10 Ways to Have Better Aftercare

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During a BDSM scene or other kink activities, the Dominant and submissive can experience a huge endorphin rush.  It can be a shock when it is all over, for Doms and for subs.  A proper checklist helps prevent this.  It’s a way for those in a D/s (Dom/sub) relationship to calm back down. If your […]

Tagged With: Activities, Aftercare, BDSM, Checklist, Definition, Dominant, Ideas, Kink, Kit, Relationships, Sub drop, Submissive

6 Things You Need to Know About Safewords

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Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, the meaning of “safewords” has become more popular.  But many people, even in the BDSM community, still don’t know how to use them the right way.  The definition of a safeword is a code to communicate when a submissive is at their limit, or close to it.  I’ll show you some […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Definition, Examples, Fifty Shades of Grey, List, Safewords

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About Me

 I’m Alesandra from Dom Sub Living.  Through online trainings and mentoring, I help new and experienced Doms and subs live the BDSM lifestyle to the fullest.

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