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How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink

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One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Definition, Kink, Sex, Switch, Vanilla

FREE BDSM QUIZ! Discover your kink personality type

FREE BDSM QUIZ! Discover your kink personality type

One size fits all is not what BDSM and kink is about — Consider this quiz your shortcut to exploring your kinky potential. When you align with your natural strengths and innate sexuality, the Dom/sub lifestyle becomes a whole lot easier. Take this test and get instant access to your customized plan. You’ll find out what […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Kink

Everything You Need to Know About Being a Switch

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When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl).  The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and switching from Dom or sub can […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Definition, Dominant, Kink, Relationships, Submissive, Switch, Vanilla

5 Things You Need to Know About Consensual Non-Consent

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One of the most debated but rarely explained topics in the BDSM community is consensual non-consent, or CNC.  The real definition of this type of D/s relationship is one of deep trust, not abuse.  And even though the sex fantasy of rape play is pretty common, this kink is still a taboo topic.  What is […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Consensual Non-Consent, Contract, Definition, Examples, Ideas, Kink, Relationships, Sex

10 Ways to Have Better Aftercare

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During a BDSM scene or other kink activities, the Dominant and submissive can experience a huge endorphin rush.  It can be a shock when it is all over, for Doms and for subs.  A proper checklist helps prevent this.  It’s a way for those in a D/s (Dom/sub) relationship to calm back down. If your […]

Tagged With: Activities, Aftercare, BDSM, Checklist, Definition, Dominant, Ideas, Kink, Kit, Relationships, Sub drop, Submissive

8 Bondage Ideas + Tips Even if You’re a BDSM Beginner

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Bondage is one of the fundamental aspects of BDSM.  It may seem like just a sex kink, but it’s so much more than rope ties, tying someone up, or being tied.  Real physical and emotional gratification comes from bondage.  How can you get started and enjoy it safely, even if you’re a beginner?  Here are […]

Tagged With: BDSM, Beginner, Bondage, Ideas, Kink, Sex, Tips

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About Me

 I’m Alesandra from Dom Sub Living.  Through online trainings and mentoring, I help new and experienced Doms and subs live the BDSM lifestyle to the fullest.

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