Are you a Dominant or submissive, eager to make the BDSM lifestyle a 24/7 agreement? Maybe you already have a contract, but you now want a full-time dynamic. Total Power Exchange relationships, or TPE relationships, are sometimes seen as the ultimate goal in a BDSM lifestyle. While they can enhance your role as Dom or […]
Kink Articles + Tips
Whether you’re just kink curious or a hardcore freak, Dom Sub Living has you covered. Here are dozens of articles on various kink topics, including bondage, taboo dynamics, and all things BDSM.
BDSM Limits Explained: Understanding Hard and Soft Limits for Safer Kink
Limits are one of the most essential conversations in any Dom/sub relationship or BDSM contract. Whether you’re currently partnered or just beginning your journey, knowing your BDSM limits — especially the difference between hard and soft limits — is key to building trust, safety, and mutual satisfaction. In this guide, you’ll learn what these limits […]
How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink
One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]
How to Be a Dominant in BDSM: Mastering Confidence, Control, and Care
When talking about how to be a Dominant in BDSM we find that “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot. Being a Dom can seem very appealing. Most are people who want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of […]
What’s Your BDSM Role? Take the Free BDSM Quiz
Discover your Dominant or submissive personality with our trusted free BDSM quiz — designed for beginners and seasoned players alike. This fun, inclusive BDSM personality test has helped over 10,000 kinksters identify their D/s roles, unlock desires, and deepen their relationships. Take this BDSM test and get instant access to your customized plan. What Our […]
The Only 2 Submissive Collar Types You Need
If you’re a Dominant or submissive in a D/s relationship, you’ve probably wondered about BDSM collar etiquette and meaning. After all, there are so many different submissive collar types for different situations: consideration, sub training, posture, play, everyday wear, pet, protection, ownership, ceremony, and eternity, just to name a few. So what is a day […]
What is a Switch in Bed? The Guide to How to Be a Switch
What is a “switch” in bed? When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl). The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and […]
5 Essential Scene Strategies for Your Next Play Session
If you’re new to the lifestyle, or even if you’ve been playing for a while, you’ve probably wondered during a scene, “Am I doing it right?” (The definition of a scene is a BDSM activity or encounter that involves a Dominant and submissive. It may also be referred to as “play” or “session.”) Well, I […]
What is BDSM CNC Kink? Consensual Non-Consent Explained by Embracing Trust and Connection.
One of the most debated but rarely explained topics in the BDSM community is consensual non-consent. The real definition of this type of D/s relationship is one of deep trust, not abuse. And even though the CNC sex fantasy is pretty common, CNC kink/CNC fetish are still a taboo topic. Let’s look more closely, including […]
The Ultimate Guide to a Safe BDSM Lifestyle
In the BDSM community there is a saying: Safe, Sane, Consensual, or SSC. Whether you are new to the Dom/sub lifestyle or have been playing for a long time, this is the foundation for any D/s relationship. You should always follow these three principles and so should your partner. But what does Safe, Sane, Consensual […]
8 BDSM Bondage Ideas & Tips for Beginners
Bondage is one of the fundamental aspects of BDSM. It may seem like just a sex kink, but it’s more than rope ties, tying someone up, or being tied. Real physical and emotional gratification comes from bondage. How can you get started and enjoy it safely, even if you’re a beginner? Here are 8 beginner-friendly […]
3 reasons why you need to watch the “Secretary”
Probably one of the best BDSM movies is Secretary. It stars actors Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader as the characters Lee Holloway and E. Edward Grey. There is so much I love about this movie: the quotes, the horse scene, and the deeper meaning of pain explained. Here is my review and why it’s one of […]
BDSM Myths You Need to Stop Believing Now
Whether you are just curious about BDSM or you have been playing for a long time, you have probably encountered many myths about it. Below are some of the top ones debunked. These were originally featured in the newsletter for “Dom Sub Living” and more will continue to be added. Sign up for the “Dom […]
