Last week my inbox was flooded with questions from my members… “How can we avoid going back to vanilla while we’re stuck at home?” “Should I keep looking for a partner?” “Should we take a break from BDSM since the kids are off school?” “How can we stay Dom & sub while we are separated […]
The Ultimate 24/7 Total Power Exchange Relationship Guide
Are you a Dominant or submissive, eager to make the BDSM lifestyle a 24/7 agreement? Maybe you already have a contract, but you now want a full-time dynamic. Total Power Exchange relationships, or TPE relationships, are sometimes seen as the ultimate goal in a BDSM lifestyle. While they can enhance your role as Dom or […]
BDSM Limits Explained
Limits are a topic that is sure to come up in any Dom/sub relationship or contract negotiation. Even if you don’t have a BDSM partner yet, it’s good to have clear BDSM limits and boundaries so you’ll be a prepared Dominant or submissive. But what exactly is the difference between hard BDSM limits and soft […]
Exactly What to Do When You Don’t Have a Partner
Whether you’re a Dom without a sub, or a sub without a Dom, having no partner can be a hard situation to deal with. And starting an online BDSM relationship when you’re single can be very scary. Want to know how to find a Dominant or submissive, or maybe you have a partner already but […]
How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink
One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]
How to Be a (Good) Dom – The Ultimate Guide
In BDSM, “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot. Being a Dom can seem very appealing. Most are people who want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of fake doms out there. How can you make sure you’re not […]
BDSM Quiz: Discover Your Kinky Personality Type
One size fits all is not what kink is about — Consider this kink quiz your shortcut to exploring your kinky potential. When you align with your natural strengths and innate sexuality, the Dom/sub lifestyle becomes a whole lot easier. Take this BDSM test and get instant access to your customized plan. What Our BDSM Quiz […]
The Only 2 Submissive Collar Types You Need
If you’re a Dominant or submissive in a D/s relationship, you’ve probably wondered about BDSM collar etiquette and meaning. After all, there are so many different submissive collar types for different situations: consideration, sub training, posture, play, everyday wear, pet, protection, ownership, ceremony, and eternity, just to name a few. So what is a day […]
What is a Switch in Bed? The Guide to How to Be a Switch
What is a “switch” in bed? When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl). The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and […]
7 Rules for BDSM Long-Distance Relationships
BDSM long-distance relationships are hard, especially for those that are Dom/sub. It can be difficult to keep the dynamic going when you’re apart, and problems and issues arise. There’s also a lot of bad advice and tips on the internet. But even if you’re apart for just a day, or if circumstances make it so […]
How to Master BDSM Maintenance for Doms & subs
When a Dominant or submissive starts a BDSM relationship, they’re usually very excited and motivated. But after some time passes, the realities of life begin to set in. What can keep a sub eager to serve and also prevent a Dom from neglecting their partner? BDSM maintenance! When you hear that term, you may think […]
5 Essential Scene Strategies for Your Next Play Session
If you’re new to the lifestyle, or even if you’ve been playing for a while, you’ve probably wondered during a scene, “Am I doing it right?” (The definition of a scene is a BDSM activity or encounter that involves a Dominant and submissive. It may also be referred to as “play” or “session.”) Well, I […]
What is BDSM CNC Kink? Consensual Non-Consent Explained
One of the most debated but rarely explained topics in the BDSM community is consensual non-consent. The real definition of this type of D/s relationship is one of deep trust, not abuse. And even though the CNC sex fantasy is pretty common, CNC kink/CNC fetish are still a taboo topic. Let’s look more closely, including […]
14 Doms Answer: What’s One Thing You Wish You Knew Before Becoming a Dominant?
Every Dom/sub dynamic is unique, which is why every Dominant learns different lessons and tips that work best for them. So for this special blog post, I’m bringing in 14 of my favorite Dominants in the BDSM community to answer the question, What’s one thing you wish you knew before becoming a Dom? Now, all […]
15 Subs Answer: What’s One Thing You Wish You Knew Before Becoming a Submissive?
Every Dom/sub dynamic is unique, which is why every submissive learns different lessons and tips that work best for them. So for this special blog post, I’m bringing in 15 of my favorite submissives in the BDSM community to answer the question, What’s one thing you wish you knew before becoming a sub? Now, all […]
10 BDSM Aftercare Tips & Ideas for Dom/sub Couples
During a BDSM scene or other kink activities, the Dominant and submissive can experience a huge endorphin rush, which can be a shock for both when the scene ends. BDSM aftercare is needed after the scene is over because it’s a way for those in a D/s (Dom/sub) relationship to calm back down. If your […]
The Ultimate Guide to a Safe BDSM Lifestyle
In the BDSM community there is a saying: Safe, Sane, Consensual, or SSC. Whether you are new to the Dom/sub lifestyle or have been playing for a long time, this is the foundation for any D/s relationship. You should always follow these three principles and so should your partner. But what does Safe, Sane, Consensual […]
8 BDSM Bondage Ideas & Tips for Beginners
Bondage is one of the fundamental aspects of BDSM. It may seem like just a sex kink, but it’s more than rope ties, tying someone up, or being tied. Real physical and emotional gratification comes from bondage. How can you get started and enjoy it safely, even if you’re a beginner? Here are 8 beginner-friendly […]
3 reasons why you need to watch the “Secretary”
Probably one of the best BDSM movies is Secretary. It stars actors Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader as the characters Lee Holloway and E. Edward Grey. There is so much I love about this movie: the quotes, the horse scene, and the deeper meaning of pain explained. Here is my review and why it’s one of […]
BDSM Myths You Need to Stop Believing Now
Whether you are just curious about BDSM or you have been playing for a long time, you have probably encountered many myths about it. Below are some of the top ones debunked. These were originally featured in the newsletter for “Dom Sub Living” and more will continue to be added. Sign up for the “Dom […]
Submissive’s Journal: The Ultimate Guide to Submissive Journal Prompts & Ideas
In beginning my BDSM journey as a sub, I thought keeping a submissive’s journal was very vanilla. “Shouldn’t I just tell my Dom my feelings and ideas?” I didn’t think a submissive journal would be useful, but my Dominant wanted me to, so I obeyed. Here’s what I’ve learned, plus some submissive journal prompts and […]
Ask Me Anything
A couple weeks ago I decided to do a Q and A, and I got a TON of questions. There were a lot of really good ones and some original ones I’ve never been asked before. Thank you to everyone who submitted a question! I hope you enjoy my answers. Q. What got you into […]