In the world of BDSM, Dominants play a pivotal role in guiding and leading their submissive partners. But did you know that there are different types of Doms with distinct approaches and styles? Examples can include Primal Dom, Gentle Dom, Part-Time Master, and Kinky Dom (just to name a few). In this article, we’ll explore […]
Age Play Unleashed: DDlg Rules, Rewards and Punishments for Littles
Daddy Dom/little girl (DDlg) relationships are a subculture of BDSM. They often involve age play, where one partner takes on the role of a “little” and the other that of a caregiver. Within this dynamic, there is usually a set of DDlg rules for littles, chores, and even DDlg punishments and rewards. In this article, […]
Ultimate Guide to Common BDSM Terms
When I first started exploring BDSM, I quickly realized that beyond the dynamics and experiences, there was an entire BDSM language that felt like a secret code. From countless acronyms to nuanced terms, BDSM terminology can be overwhelming, especially for newbies. I remember feeling a bit lost, like I was in a foreign country without […]
A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM & Dom/sub For Starters
Many people who are curious about kink want to know the quickest way to get started and learn BDSM. When you’re just a BDSM beginner, it can be really frustrating to try and figure out what a Dominant or submissive is all about. If you don’t get started the right way, you’re going to waste […]
The Importance of BDSM Education
A BDSM relationship is a consensual dynamic that involves elements of power play and sensory experiences. Taking a “How to learn BDSM class” can be a lot of fun and a great way to explore your sexuality, but it’s important to approach this lifestyle seriously and with safety in mind. In this article, we’ll explore […]
Introducing BDSM Training: Dom Sub Training Courses
If you subscribe to Dom Sub Living elsewhere, then you may have already heard about my new BDSM course, “Dom Sub Training”. Either way, I wanted to formally introduce it to everyone here on the blog. I’m really excited about this! Creating the BDSM Course Back when I was trying to decide what kind of course […]
8 Best BDSM Clubs in the San Francisco Bay Area
San Francisco, by many accounts, is the BDSM capital of America, if not the world. Having been born and raised in the Bay Area and living there almost my whole life, I’ve been exposed to kink for a very long time. In this article, I’m sharing all of the best kinky clubs, events, groups, and […]
6 Effective Safewords BDSM Couples Need With Examples
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, the meaning of “safewords” has become more popular. But many people, even in the BDSM community, still don’t know how to pick a safe word or use it correctly. BDSM safewords are codes to communicate when a submissive is at their limit or close to it, and I’ll show […]
10 Self-Care Tips Doms and Subs Need
Many in the BDSM community are responding to the current crisis in one of two ways. They either push themselves to try to keep things under control, or they retreat into worry. In either case, self-care gets neglected, and Dom and sub drop can occur. Yet this is exactly when you need self-care activities the most. […]
Topping from the Bottom: What Does Topping from the Bottom Mean?
What does “Topping from the Bottom” mean? Ever since the book 50 Shades of Grey made the expression popular, the meaning and actual definition have become cloudy. In BDSM, the definition of “Topping from the Bottom” (or TFTB) is when a submissive starts to become more of the dominant in the relationship. I’m going to […]
What is DDlg? Daddy Dom/little girl Ultimate Guide
What is DDlg? Keep reading to learn all about the rules, definition of “little space”, Daddy dominant traits, and get new ideas, so you can enjoy ageplay responsibly.
Fake Dom vs Real Dom: 9 Warning Signs
In creating Dom Sub Living I’ve met many great Dominants, but I’ve also come across a lot of fake doms. I have also heard from many submissives about their scary experiences with bad doms. I eventually realized that a “Fake dom vs Real Dom” article was necessary. Keep reading to learn the warning signs, red […]
BDSM Rituals & Why You Need Them
BDSM rituals are an important part of any healthy Dom/sub relationship. They help the Dominant and submissive remember their roles and can be a way to stay centered and focused. But creating powerful and easy Dom/sub rituals (that don’t fizzle out) can be challenging. Read on to discover proven examples of D/s rules and protocols, […]
7 Things You Need to Know About BDSM During This Uncertain Time
Last week my inbox was flooded with questions from my members… “How can we avoid going back to vanilla while we’re stuck at home?” “Should I keep looking for a partner?” “Should we take a break from BDSM since the kids are off school?” “How can we stay Dom & sub while we are separated […]
The Ultimate 24/7 Total Power Exchange Relationship Guide
Are you a Dominant or submissive, eager to make the BDSM lifestyle a 24/7 agreement? Maybe you already have a contract, but you now want a full-time dynamic. Total Power Exchange relationships, or TPE relationships, are sometimes seen as the ultimate goal in a BDSM lifestyle. While they can enhance your role as Dom or […]
BDSM Limits Explained
Limits are a topic that is sure to come up in any Dom/sub relationship or contract negotiation. Even if you don’t have a BDSM partner yet, it’s good to have clear BDSM limits and boundaries so you’ll be a prepared Dominant or submissive. But what exactly is the difference between hard BDSM limits and soft […]
Exactly What to Do When You Don’t Have a Partner
Whether you’re a Dom without a sub, or a sub without a Dom, having no partner can be a hard situation to deal with. And starting an online BDSM relationship when you’re single can be very scary. Want to know how to find a Dominant or submissive, or maybe you have a partner already but […]
How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink
One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]
How to Be a (Good) Dom – The Ultimate Guide
In BDSM, “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot. Being a Dom can seem very appealing. Most are people who want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of fake doms out there. How can you make sure you’re not […]
BDSM Quiz: Discover Your Kinky Personality Type
One size fits all is not what kink is about — Consider this kink quiz your shortcut to exploring your kinky potential. When you align with your natural strengths and innate sexuality, the Dom/sub lifestyle becomes a whole lot easier. Take this BDSM test and get instant access to your customized plan. What Our BDSM Quiz […]
The Only 2 Submissive Collar Types You Need
If you’re a Dominant or submissive in a D/s relationship, you’ve probably wondered about BDSM collar etiquette and meaning. After all, there are so many different submissive collar types for different situations: consideration, sub training, posture, play, everyday wear, pet, protection, ownership, ceremony, and eternity, just to name a few. So what is a day […]
What is a Switch in Bed? The Guide to How to Be a Switch
What is a “switch” in bed? When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl). The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and […]
7 Rules for BDSM Long-Distance Relationships
BDSM long-distance relationships are hard, especially for those that are Dom/sub. It can be difficult to keep the dynamic going when you’re apart, and problems and issues arise. There’s also a lot of bad advice and tips on the internet. But even if you’re apart for just a day, or if circumstances make it so […]
How to Master BDSM Maintenance for Doms & subs
When a Dominant or submissive starts a BDSM relationship, they’re usually very excited and motivated. But after some time passes, the realities of life begin to set in. What can keep a sub eager to serve and also prevent a Dom from neglecting their partner? BDSM maintenance! When you hear that term, you may think […]
5 Essential Scene Strategies for Your Next Play Session
If you’re new to the lifestyle, or even if you’ve been playing for a while, you’ve probably wondered during a scene, “Am I doing it right?” (The definition of a scene is a BDSM activity or encounter that involves a Dominant and submissive. It may also be referred to as “play” or “session.”) Well, I […]
What is BDSM CNC Kink? Consensual Non-Consent Explained
One of the most debated but rarely explained topics in the BDSM community is consensual non-consent. The real definition of this type of D/s relationship is one of deep trust, not abuse. And even though the CNC sex fantasy is pretty common, CNC kink/CNC fetish are still a taboo topic. Let’s look more closely, including […]
14 Doms Answer: What’s One Thing You Wish You Knew Before Becoming a Dominant?
Every Dom/sub dynamic is unique, which is why every Dominant learns different lessons and tips that work best for them. So for this special blog post, I’m bringing in 14 of my favorite Dominants in the BDSM community to answer the question, What’s one thing you wish you knew before becoming a Dom? Now, all […]
15 Subs Answer: What’s One Thing You Wish You Knew Before Becoming a Submissive?
Every Dom/sub dynamic is unique, which is why every submissive learns different lessons and tips that work best for them. So for this special blog post, I’m bringing in 15 of my favorite submissives in the BDSM community to answer the question, What’s one thing you wish you knew before becoming a sub? Now, all […]
10 BDSM Aftercare Tips & Ideas for Dom/sub Couples
During a BDSM scene or other kink activities, the Dominant and submissive can experience a huge endorphin rush, which can be a shock for both when the scene ends. BDSM aftercare is needed after the scene is over because it’s a way for those in a D/s (Dom/sub) relationship to calm back down. If your […]
The Ultimate Guide to a Safe BDSM Lifestyle
In the BDSM community there is a saying: Safe, Sane, Consensual, or SSC. Whether you are new to the Dom/sub lifestyle or have been playing for a long time, this is the foundation for any D/s relationship. You should always follow these three principles and so should your partner. But what does Safe, Sane, Consensual […]