Many people who are curious about kink want to know the quickest way to get started and learn BDSM. When you’re just a BDSM beginner, confusion is not uncommon. It can be really frustrating to try to figure out what a Dominant or submissive is all about. If you don’t get started the right way, […]
Submissive Articles + Tips
Want to learn everything you need to know about submissives? You’re in the right place. Here you’ll find dozens of articles to help you learn what a good sub should be.
BDSM Submissive Punishments: How to Punish a Sub Effectively
Most Dominant/submissive relationships in BDSM usually have varying types of submissive punishments. And if rules are broken, the next steps are more than clear. Correction (even over text) is needed from time to time when a sub breaks the rules. However, many Doms struggle with ideas for knowing how to punish a sub. This is […]
Exploring Worship Kink: A Deep Dive into Devotion and Submission
In the power exchange of BDSM, devotion plays a large part in the dynamic. You and your partner should be devoted to the roleplay, to start. Then, of course, there’s the honoring and devotion to the BDSM contract you and your partner devise. But things can go even deeper. For some kinksters, the worship kink acts as […]
What Is A Praise Kink & 20 Hot Praise Kink Phrases
BDSM is all about tapping into your most deeply seeded pleasure centers and giving them exactly what they want. But what they want might be different from your partner or other people. In truth, there are dozens and dozens of kinks out there in the universe. One of the fundamental kinks in BDSM play is praise kink. […]
Dirty Talk During Sex: What to Say and How to Say It
Let’s face it: everyone wants their bedroom just a little bit spicier. Of course, that level of spice (and really, the flavor itself) is never going to look the same between any two given couples. But do you know what is potentially spicier than all else? Communication. Letting your partner know you’re connected, you’re present, and you’re into […]
Beducated Review – Plus Coupon Code!
As a Dom/sub couple, my partner and I are always looking for ways to explore our sexuality and improve our intimate relationship. One of the resources we’ve found incredibly helpful in this regard is Beducated. Keep reading for my complete Beducated review, and also get your coupon code for a subscription discount. My Honest Beducated […]
How to Write a BDSM Contract + Free Printable BDSM Contract Template
Have you considered adding a new layer of structure and reliability to your BDSM dynamic? Well, then you’ve come to the right place! It’s always a good idea to have a BDSM contract before you begin any new Dom/sub relationship. It spells out in detail what is expected of each person. It also keeps things safe […]
Check Off Your Dom Sub Living Kinky Bingo Card
You did a lot of kinky things this year. What did you check off your BDSM bucket list? There’s no way to sugarcoat it. From a messy political election, the spectacle of the Olympics, and whispers of a possible bird flu pandemic, 2024 has been a rollercoaster of a year. But through all the hardships, […]
How to Be a Submissive in BDSM: Ultimate Guide on How to Be a Good Sub
Like anything in the power dynamics of an exploratory sex life, fulfilling a role can truly be transformative. It can set aside preconceptions or other baggage and let you and your partner whisk each other away to a world of untold pleasure. And it can help you tap into deeper needs and desires than you […]
How to Safely Explore Humiliation in BDSM
Let’s imagine you want to shift the power dynamics in your bedroom. Specifically, so the scales are tipped a little bit toward or away from your partner. Let’s even imagine you want to introduce a hefty bit of negativity into that power shift. While those into vanilla sexual experiences might balk at such an idea, […]
An Introduction to High Protocol Kink: Rules and Rituals
Ready to kick your BDSM knowledge into overdrive? These days, BDSM isn’t quite the taboo subject it once was. Everyone, it seems (yes, even your grandmother), likely knows a thing or two about non-vanilla bedroom play. But that doesn’t mean that BDSM is widely understood. Yes, it’s true that zeitgeist moments like “50 Shades of […]
What Is Shibari? A Deep Dive into Japanese Rope Bondage
Unraveling the threads of different kink practices, we stumble upon the art form of Japanese rope bondage, raising the question: What is Shibari BDSM? In this article, we’ll untangle the complexities of Japanese bondage, highlighting the essential aspects of safety, consent, and the intimate connection between the Rigger and the model. Get ready to learn […]
Types of Bondage: A Journey into the Realm of Restraint
Embarking on a journey into the realm of BDSM can be thrilling, exhilarating and, for some, a little intimidating. One essential aspect that often piques fascination is all the different types of bondage. We’ll explore the vast variations of bondage types. From Shibari bondage, predicament bondage, to even torture bondage, each method serves a unique […]
What is a Rope Bunny? Unraveling this Kinky Rope Bondage Role
When someone starts exploring the world of BDSM, they often come across vast terminology. One of the questions I get asked a lot is, What is a rope bunny? In this article we’ll dive into this rewarding role, and I’ll even share my favorite bondage tie and top rope bondage technique tips to help you […]
The Ultimate BDSM Checklist for Kinks, Limits & More
(Free Printable Kink Checklist!) When you’re engaging in the kink lifestyle, it’s important to have a BDSM checklist. You probably already have a basic BDSM kink list that you found when you first began your journey. However, it’s essential to have one that is reputable and comprehensible. A good kink checklist will also help you […]
Ultimate Guide to Common BDSM Terms
When I first started exploring BDSM, I quickly realized that beyond the dynamics and experiences, there was an entire BDSM language that felt like a secret code. From countless acronyms to nuanced terms, BDSM terminology can be overwhelming, especially for newbies. I remember feeling a bit lost, like I was in a foreign country without […]
The Importance of BDSM Education
A BDSM relationship is a consensual dynamic that involves elements of power play and sensory experiences. Taking a “How to learn BDSM class” can be a lot of fun and a great way to explore your sexuality, but it’s important to approach this lifestyle seriously and with safety in mind. In this article, we’ll explore […]
Introducing BDSM Training: Dom Sub Training Courses
If you subscribe to Dom Sub Living elsewhere, then you may have already heard about my new BDSM course, “Dom Sub Training”. Either way, I wanted to formally introduce it to everyone here on the blog. I’m really excited about this! Creating the BDSM Course Back when I was trying to decide what kind of course […]
8 Best BDSM Clubs in the San Francisco Bay Area
San Francisco, by many accounts, is the BDSM capital of America, if not the world. Having been born and raised in the Bay Area and living there almost my whole life, I’ve been exposed to kink for a very long time. In this article, I’m sharing all of the best kinky clubs, events, groups, and […]
6 Effective Safewords BDSM Couples Need With Examples
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, the meaning of “safewords” has become more popular. But many people, even in the BDSM community, still don’t know how to pick a safe word or use it correctly. BDSM safewords are codes to communicate when a submissive is at their limit or close to it, and I’ll show […]
10 Self-Care Tips Doms and Subs Need
Many in the BDSM community are responding to the current crisis in one of two ways. They either push themselves to try to keep things under control, or they retreat into worry. In either case, self-care gets neglected, and Dom and sub drop can occur. Yet this is exactly when you need self-care activities the most. […]
Topping from the Bottom: What Does Topping from the Bottom Mean?
What does “Topping from the Bottom” mean? Ever since the book 50 Shades of Grey made the expression popular, the meaning and actual definition have become cloudy. In BDSM, the definition of “Topping from the Bottom” (or TFTB) is when a submissive starts to become more of the dominant in the relationship. I’m going to […]
What is DDlg? Daddy Dom/little girl Ultimate Guide
What is DDlg? Keep reading to learn all about the rules, definition of “little space”, Daddy dominant traits, and get new ideas, so you can enjoy ageplay responsibly.
Fake Dom vs Real Dom: 9 Warning Signs
In creating Dom Sub Living I’ve met many great Dominants, but I’ve also come across a lot of fake doms. I have also heard from many submissives about their scary experiences with bad doms. I eventually realized that a “Fake dom vs Real Dom” article was necessary. Keep reading to learn the warning signs, red […]
BDSM Rituals & Why You Need Them
BDSM rituals are an important part of any healthy Dom/sub relationship. They help the Dominant and submissive remember their roles and can be a way to stay centered and focused. But creating powerful and easy Dom/sub rituals (that don’t fizzle out) can be challenging. Read on to discover proven examples of D/s rules and protocols, […]
7 Things You Need to Know About BDSM During This Uncertain Time
Last week my inbox was flooded with questions from my members… “How can we avoid going back to vanilla while we’re stuck at home?” “Should I keep looking for a partner?” “Should we take a break from BDSM since the kids are off school?” “How can we stay Dom & sub while we are separated […]
The Ultimate 24/7 Total Power Exchange Relationship Guide
Are you a Dominant or submissive, eager to make the BDSM lifestyle a 24/7 agreement? Maybe you already have a contract, but you now want a full-time dynamic. Total Power Exchange relationships, or TPE relationships, are sometimes seen as the ultimate goal in a BDSM lifestyle. While they can enhance your role as Dom or […]
BDSM Limits Explained: Understanding Hard and Soft Limits for Safer Kink
Limits are one of the most essential conversations in any Dom/sub relationship or BDSM contract. Whether you’re currently partnered or just beginning your journey, knowing your BDSM limits — especially the difference between hard and soft limits — is key to building trust, safety, and mutual satisfaction. In this guide, you’ll learn what these limits […]
Exactly What to Do When You Don’t Have a Partner
Whether you’re a Dom without a sub, or a sub without a Dom, having no partner can be a hard situation to deal with. And starting an online BDSM relationship when you’re single can be very scary. Want to know how to find a Dominant or submissive, or maybe you have a partner already but […]
How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink
One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]
