LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE In today’s episode, we are going to dive deep into the steps we took to establish our 24/7 Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship. It’s been quite the journey, and I’m thrilled to share it with you! Step 1: Research and Education When my partner, Jay, […]
Meet my Dom! Advice and Tips for Dominants (Ep. 7)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE I am excited to introduce my partner to you: Jay! Jay has been an integral part of my journey as a submissive, and today we will dive deep into our Dom/sub dynamic, and explore the challenges, triumphs, and growth we have experienced together as a […]
How to Create Meaningful Traditions for Your D/s Dynamic (Ep. 6)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE As you approach the holiday season, it’s natural to shift your focus toward family gatherings, festive decorations, and gift exchanges. However, it’s important for you not to forget about your BDSM dynamic and the unique bond you share with your partner. So, let’s explore some […]
3 Big Myths About BDSM That Are Holding You Back (Ep. 5)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE In this episode of my podcast, I share a personal story about the myths and limiting beliefs that held me back in the early stages of my own Dom/sub relationship. Today, I want to delve deeper into these myths and discuss how you can break […]
Why Now is the Best Time to Start Your BDSM Journey (Ep. 4)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE Let’s explore why there has never been a better time to start living the BDSM lifestyle. We’ll discuss the reasons why now is the opportune moment to embrace your true potential as a Dominant or submissive. So let’s dive into the fascinating world of kink […]
Why I Quit My Vanilla Relationship to Become a Full-Time Submissive (Ep. 3)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE In this exciting episode, I wanted to share my personal story and reveal the driving force behind my decision to become a full-time submissive. As a BDSM instructor and D/s relationship coach, I am often asked what led me down this path. Today, I’m here […]
5 Reasons Why You Need BDSM in Your Life (Ep. 2)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE Welcome, fellow kinksters and curious minds, to another exhilarating episode of Dom Sub Living! Today I want to dive deep into the world of BDSM. Whether you’re a seasoned practitioner or just starting to explore this exciting realm, I’m here to share five compelling reasons […]
My Unfiltered Story About Why I Started This Podcast (Ep. 1)
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE: APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | GOOGLE Hey there, fellow kinksters! It’s Alesandra here, your kinky guide, and I’m thrilled to welcome you to the world of Dom Sub Living. In this blog post, I want to delve deeper into our very first podcast episode and give you an exclusive glimpse into […]
Mastering Dominance: An In-Depth Look at the Different Types of Doms
In the world of BDSM, Dominants play a pivotal role in guiding and leading their submissive partners. But did you know that there are different types of Doms with distinct approaches and styles? Examples can include Primal Dom, Gentle Dom, Part-Time Master, and Kinky Dom (just to name a few). In this article, we’ll explore […]
Age Play Unleashed: DDlg Rules, Rewards and Punishments for Littles
Daddy Dom/little girl (DDlg) relationships are a subculture of BDSM. They often involve age play, where one partner takes on the role of a “little” and the other that of a caregiver. Within this dynamic, there is usually a set of DDlg rules for littles, chores, and even DDlg punishments and rewards. In this article, […]
Ultimate Guide to Common BDSM Terms
When I first started exploring BDSM, I quickly realized that beyond the dynamics and experiences, there was an entire BDSM language that felt like a secret code. From countless acronyms to nuanced terms, BDSM terminology can be overwhelming, especially for newbies. I remember feeling a bit lost, like I was in a foreign country without […]
The Importance of BDSM Education
A BDSM relationship is a consensual dynamic that involves elements of power play and sensory experiences. Taking a “How to learn BDSM class” can be a lot of fun and a great way to explore your sexuality, but it’s important to approach this lifestyle seriously and with safety in mind. In this article, we’ll explore […]
Introducing BDSM Training: Dom Sub Training Courses
If you subscribe to Dom Sub Living elsewhere, then you may have already heard about my new BDSM course, “Dom Sub Training”. Either way, I wanted to formally introduce it to everyone here on the blog. I’m really excited about this! Creating the BDSM Course Back when I was trying to decide what kind of course […]
8 Best BDSM Clubs in the San Francisco Bay Area
San Francisco, by many accounts, is the BDSM capital of America, if not the world. Having been born and raised in the Bay Area and living there almost my whole life, I’ve been exposed to kink for a very long time. In this article, I’m sharing all of the best kinky clubs, events, groups, and […]
6 Effective Safewords BDSM Couples Need With Examples
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, the meaning of “safewords” has become more popular. But many people, even in the BDSM community, still don’t know how to pick a safe word or use it correctly. BDSM safewords are codes to communicate when a submissive is at their limit or close to it, and I’ll show […]
10 Self-Care Tips Doms and Subs Need
Many in the BDSM community are responding to the current crisis in one of two ways. They either push themselves to try to keep things under control, or they retreat into worry. In either case, self-care gets neglected, and Dom and sub drop can occur. Yet this is exactly when you need self-care activities the most. […]
Topping from the Bottom: What Does Topping from the Bottom Mean?
What does “Topping from the Bottom” mean? Ever since the book 50 Shades of Grey made the expression popular, the meaning and actual definition have become cloudy. In BDSM, the definition of “Topping from the Bottom” (or TFTB) is when a submissive starts to become more of the dominant in the relationship. I’m going to […]
What is DDlg? Daddy Dom/little girl Ultimate Guide
What is DDlg? Keep reading to learn all about the rules, definition of “little space”, Daddy dominant traits, and get new ideas, so you can enjoy ageplay responsibly.
Fake Dom vs Real Dom: 9 Warning Signs
In creating Dom Sub Living I’ve met many great Dominants, but I’ve also come across a lot of fake doms. I have also heard from many submissives about their scary experiences with bad doms. I eventually realized that a “Fake dom vs Real Dom” article was necessary. Keep reading to learn the warning signs, red […]
BDSM Rituals & Why You Need Them
BDSM rituals are an important part of any healthy Dom/sub relationship. They help the Dominant and submissive remember their roles and can be a way to stay centered and focused. But creating powerful and easy Dom/sub rituals (that don’t fizzle out) can be challenging. Read on to discover proven examples of D/s rules and protocols, […]
7 Things You Need to Know About BDSM During This Uncertain Time
Last week my inbox was flooded with questions from my members… “How can we avoid going back to vanilla while we’re stuck at home?” “Should I keep looking for a partner?” “Should we take a break from BDSM since the kids are off school?” “How can we stay Dom & sub while we are separated […]
The Ultimate 24/7 Total Power Exchange Relationship Guide
Are you a Dominant or submissive, eager to make the BDSM lifestyle a 24/7 agreement? Maybe you already have a contract, but you now want a full-time dynamic. Total Power Exchange relationships, or TPE relationships, are sometimes seen as the ultimate goal in a BDSM lifestyle. While they can enhance your role as Dom or […]
BDSM Limits Explained: Understanding Hard and Soft Limits for Safer Kink
Limits are one of the most essential conversations in any Dom/sub relationship or BDSM contract. Whether you’re currently partnered or just beginning your journey, knowing your BDSM limits — especially the difference between hard and soft limits — is key to building trust, safety, and mutual satisfaction. In this guide, you’ll learn what these limits […]
Exactly What to Do When You Don’t Have a Partner
Whether you’re a Dom without a sub, or a sub without a Dom, having no partner can be a hard situation to deal with. And starting an online BDSM relationship when you’re single can be very scary. Want to know how to find a Dominant or submissive, or maybe you have a partner already but […]
How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink
One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]
How to Be a Dominant in BDSM: Mastering Confidence, Control, and Care
When talking about how to be a Dominant in BDSM we find that “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot. Being a Dom can seem very appealing. Most are people who want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of […]
What’s Your BDSM Role? Take the Free BDSM Quiz
Discover your Dominant or submissive personality with our trusted free BDSM quiz — designed for beginners and seasoned players alike. This fun, inclusive BDSM personality test has helped over 10,000 kinksters identify their D/s roles, unlock desires, and deepen their relationships. Take this BDSM test and get instant access to your customized plan. What Our […]
The Only 2 Submissive Collar Types You Need
If you’re a Dominant or submissive in a D/s relationship, you’ve probably wondered about BDSM collar etiquette and meaning. After all, there are so many different submissive collar types for different situations: consideration, sub training, posture, play, everyday wear, pet, protection, ownership, ceremony, and eternity, just to name a few. So what is a day […]
What is a Switch in Bed? The Guide to How to Be a Switch
What is a “switch” in bed? When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl). The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and […]
7 Rules for BDSM Long-Distance Relationships
BDSM long-distance relationships are hard, especially for those that are Dom/sub. It can be difficult to keep the dynamic going when you’re apart, and problems and issues arise. There’s also a lot of bad advice and tips on the internet. But even if you’re apart for just a day, or if circumstances make it so […]