Many people who are curious about kink want to know the quickest way to get started and learn BDSM. When you’re just a BDSM beginner, confusion is not uncommon. It can be really frustrating to try to figure out what a Dominant or submissive is all about. If you don’t get started the right way, […]
Relationship Articles + Tips
BDSM relationships can be extremely unique and complicated, to say the least. Whether you’re currently in a dynamic with someone, or just want to prepare, these articles will help you master a BDSM relationship.
BDSM Submissive Punishments: How to Punish a Sub Effectively
Most Dominant/submissive relationships in BDSM usually have varying types of submissive punishments. And if rules are broken, the next steps are more than clear. Correction (even over text) is needed from time to time when a sub breaks the rules. However, many Doms struggle with ideas for knowing how to punish a sub. This is […]
Beducated Review – Plus Coupon Code!
As a Dom/sub couple, my partner and I are always looking for ways to explore our sexuality and improve our intimate relationship. One of the resources we’ve found incredibly helpful in this regard is Beducated. Keep reading for my complete Beducated review, and also get your coupon code for a subscription discount. My Honest Beducated […]
How to Write a BDSM Contract + Free Printable BDSM Contract Template
Have you considered adding a new layer of structure and reliability to your BDSM dynamic? Well, then you’ve come to the right place! It’s always a good idea to have a BDSM contract before you begin any new Dom/sub relationship. It spells out in detail what is expected of each person. It also keeps things safe […]
How to Be a Submissive in BDSM: Ultimate Guide on How to Be a Good Sub
Like anything in the power dynamics of an exploratory sex life, fulfilling a role can truly be transformative. It can set aside preconceptions or other baggage and let you and your partner whisk each other away to a world of untold pleasure. And it can help you tap into deeper needs and desires than you […]
The Ultimate BDSM Checklist for Kinks, Limits & More
(Free Printable Kink Checklist!) When you’re engaging in the kink lifestyle, it’s important to have a BDSM checklist. You probably already have a basic BDSM kink list that you found when you first began your journey. However, it’s essential to have one that is reputable and comprehensible. A good kink checklist will also help you […]
Mastering Dominance: An In-Depth Look at the Different Types of Doms
In the world of BDSM, Dominants play a pivotal role in guiding and leading their submissive partners. But did you know that there are different types of Doms with distinct approaches and styles? Examples can include Primal Dom, Gentle Dom, Part-Time Master, and Kinky Dom (just to name a few). In this article, we’ll explore […]
Age Play Unleashed: DDlg Rules, Rewards and Punishments for Littles
Daddy Dom/little girl (DDlg) relationships are a subculture of BDSM. They often involve age play, where one partner takes on the role of a “little” and the other that of a caregiver. Within this dynamic, there is usually a set of DDlg rules for littles, chores, and even DDlg punishments and rewards. In this article, […]
The Importance of BDSM Education
A BDSM relationship is a consensual dynamic that involves elements of power play and sensory experiences. Taking a “How to learn BDSM class” can be a lot of fun and a great way to explore your sexuality, but it’s important to approach this lifestyle seriously and with safety in mind. In this article, we’ll explore […]
Introducing BDSM Training: Dom Sub Training Courses
If you subscribe to Dom Sub Living elsewhere, then you may have already heard about my new BDSM course, “Dom Sub Training”. Either way, I wanted to formally introduce it to everyone here on the blog. I’m really excited about this! Creating the BDSM Course Back when I was trying to decide what kind of course […]
6 Effective Safewords BDSM Couples Need With Examples
Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey, the meaning of “safewords” has become more popular. But many people, even in the BDSM community, still don’t know how to pick a safe word or use it correctly. BDSM safewords are codes to communicate when a submissive is at their limit or close to it, and I’ll show […]
10 Self-Care Tips Doms and Subs Need
Many in the BDSM community are responding to the current crisis in one of two ways. They either push themselves to try to keep things under control, or they retreat into worry. In either case, self-care gets neglected, and Dom and sub drop can occur. Yet this is exactly when you need self-care activities the most. […]
Topping from the Bottom: What Does Topping from the Bottom Mean?
What does “Topping from the Bottom” mean? Ever since the book 50 Shades of Grey made the expression popular, the meaning and actual definition have become cloudy. In BDSM, the definition of “Topping from the Bottom” (or TFTB) is when a submissive starts to become more of the dominant in the relationship. I’m going to […]
What is DDlg? Daddy Dom/little girl Ultimate Guide
What is DDlg? Keep reading to learn all about the rules, definition of “little space”, Daddy dominant traits, and get new ideas, so you can enjoy ageplay responsibly.
Fake Dom vs Real Dom: 9 Warning Signs
In creating Dom Sub Living I’ve met many great Dominants, but I’ve also come across a lot of fake doms. I have also heard from many submissives about their scary experiences with bad doms. I eventually realized that a “Fake dom vs Real Dom” article was necessary. Keep reading to learn the warning signs, red […]
BDSM Rituals & Why You Need Them
BDSM rituals are an important part of any healthy Dom/sub relationship. They help the Dominant and submissive remember their roles and can be a way to stay centered and focused. But creating powerful and easy Dom/sub rituals (that don’t fizzle out) can be challenging. Read on to discover proven examples of D/s rules and protocols, […]
7 Things You Need to Know About BDSM During This Uncertain Time
Last week my inbox was flooded with questions from my members… “How can we avoid going back to vanilla while we’re stuck at home?” “Should I keep looking for a partner?” “Should we take a break from BDSM since the kids are off school?” “How can we stay Dom & sub while we are separated […]
The Ultimate 24/7 Total Power Exchange Relationship Guide
Are you a Dominant or submissive, eager to make the BDSM lifestyle a 24/7 agreement? Maybe you already have a contract, but you now want a full-time dynamic. Total Power Exchange relationships, or TPE relationships, are sometimes seen as the ultimate goal in a BDSM lifestyle. While they can enhance your role as Dom or […]
BDSM Limits Explained: Understanding Hard and Soft Limits for Safer Kink
Limits are one of the most essential conversations in any Dom/sub relationship or BDSM contract. Whether you’re currently partnered or just beginning your journey, knowing your BDSM limits — especially the difference between hard and soft limits — is key to building trust, safety, and mutual satisfaction. In this guide, you’ll learn what these limits […]
How to go from Vanilla to BDSM and Kink
One of the questions I get asked the most is, “How do I go from vanilla to BDSM?” (The definition of vanilla is plain, normal, or boring.) Maybe the person read the book 50 Shades of Grey, or wants to incorporate kink into their relationship or sex life to bring more meaning to it. It […]
How to Be a Dominant in BDSM: Mastering Confidence, Control, and Care
When talking about how to be a Dominant in BDSM we find that “Dominant” is a word that’s thrown around a lot. Being a Dom can seem very appealing. Most are people who want to be more dominant sexually in bed, but also in their relationships and personal life. Unfortunately, there are a lot of […]
The Only 2 Submissive Collar Types You Need
If you’re a Dominant or submissive in a D/s relationship, you’ve probably wondered about BDSM collar etiquette and meaning. After all, there are so many different submissive collar types for different situations: consideration, sub training, posture, play, everyday wear, pet, protection, ownership, ceremony, and eternity, just to name a few. So what is a day […]
What is a Switch in Bed? The Guide to How to Be a Switch
What is a “switch” in bed? When most people think of a BDSM relationship, they usually only think of the Dominant and submissive roles (typically a guy and a girl). The truth is, there are many shades of gray on the kink spectrum. Many people (even vanilla ones) enjoy being what’s called a “switch,” and […]
7 Rules for BDSM Long-Distance Relationships
BDSM long-distance relationships are hard, especially for those that are Dom/sub. It can be difficult to keep the dynamic going when you’re apart, and problems and issues arise. There’s also a lot of bad advice and tips on the internet. But even if you’re apart for just a day, or if circumstances make it so […]
How to Master BDSM Maintenance for Doms & subs
When a Dominant or submissive starts a BDSM relationship, they’re usually very excited and motivated. But after some time passes, the realities of life begin to set in. What can keep a sub eager to serve and also prevent a Dom from neglecting their partner? BDSM maintenance! When you hear that term, you may think […]
5 Essential Scene Strategies for Your Next Play Session
If you’re new to the lifestyle, or even if you’ve been playing for a while, you’ve probably wondered during a scene, “Am I doing it right?” (The definition of a scene is a BDSM activity or encounter that involves a Dominant and submissive. It may also be referred to as “play” or “session.”) Well, I […]
What is BDSM CNC Kink? Consensual Non-Consent Explained by Embracing Trust and Connection.
One of the most debated but rarely explained topics in the BDSM community is consensual non-consent. The real definition of this type of D/s relationship is one of deep trust, not abuse. And even though the CNC sex fantasy is pretty common, CNC kink/CNC fetish are still a taboo topic. Let’s look more closely, including […]
10 BDSM Aftercare Tips & Ideas for Dom/sub Couples
During a BDSM scene or other kink activities, the Dominant and submissive can experience a huge endorphin rush, which can be a shock for both when the scene ends. BDSM aftercare is needed after the scene is over because it’s a way for those in a D/s (Dom/sub) relationship to calm back down. If your […]
The Ultimate Guide to a Safe BDSM Lifestyle
In the BDSM community there is a saying: Safe, Sane, Consensual, or SSC. Whether you are new to the Dom/sub lifestyle or have been playing for a long time, this is the foundation for any D/s relationship. You should always follow these three principles and so should your partner. But what does Safe, Sane, Consensual […]
8 BDSM Bondage Ideas & Tips for Beginners
Bondage is one of the fundamental aspects of BDSM. It may seem like just a sex kink, but it’s more than rope ties, tying someone up, or being tied. Real physical and emotional gratification comes from bondage. How can you get started and enjoy it safely, even if you’re a beginner? Here are 8 beginner-friendly […]
